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I was shocked into stoned silence and didn’t say or do anything, not even when my date started sobbing quietly in the cop car."At the precinct where I spent three hours of my life, my date was herded into a man’s holding cell with a few Rastafarians while I sat alone in the women’s cell. My date tried to impress me by arguing with the cops.And everyone knows the real freaks congregate in NYC, meaning terrible one-on-ones are amplified in the most gruesome way, and often broadcasted across Facebook for all the world to recount. You had us laughing, crying, laughing again, and then almost vomiting. OMG, look behind you, I've been trying to figure out these people since I got here.' Me: 'Hmm, interesting group. In my mind, I was stoked for drinks with a hot, bearded, blue-eyed hipster from Long Island City, not someone with delusions about being a reincarnated American Civil War Yankee officer.But because we love sharing our deepest innermost feelings and desires with YOU, we've asked you, our Big Apple readers, to submit your worst (albeit best! To make sure you're not sweating the prospect of being single forever, we've narrowed down our favorites (or least favorites, depending on how you look at it) to eight tales so truly horrific, you'll be ready to swear off men forever (plus accompanying artwork from The Blake Wright). 'Me: 'I normally drink Champagne, but I heard the Mojitos are great here, so I will go with that.' Him:'I'm on my fourth cup of coffee.'Me: 'Oh, rough night last night? Yes, that’s right, he showed up in full Civil War garb complete with a pipe and a gruff, antiquated speech pattern. ' I didn’t really hear from him after that, except for a text telling me that he lost his i Pod on the field, to which I replied, 'bummer.'""I met him on Ok Cupid. He invited me to meet him for drinks and asked me for a bar suggestion.He spent the entire time talking about how much better-looking his brother is — then repeatedly told me that if I met the dude, I’d choose him instead.” — 4.
F) give La’Cee flowers that she is miserably ALLERGIC to. J) Make La’Cee a mixtape including, but not limited to: “Take Me Home Tonight” and anything by Phil Collins. ii Lo Ve La Te Nii Te h Ea Rt~t O~h Ea Rt S Wii Th m Y g Ur Ls.. I don’t need to make it shorter, take my photos down so you’re not so disappointed, or delete it completely.Okay, that's a lie, but click through to read first-person tales*—from a literal blind date to a Civil War fanatic—that you'll be sharing again and again. Or do."We all know that meeting in NYC can be difficult, and since I have lost count of the numerous people I know that have met on JDate or Match.com, I signed myself up on a dating site. The idea of being 'punked' crossed my mind, but it was clear that Henry, a cute, IT guy by day, was living in an era gone-by, when, as we exited to barhop over to R bar, he paused to light his pipe while cursing the 'blasted wind,' and began to tell a ghost story from the reenacted battlefields."And as he said goodbye to me and opened my cab door like a gentlemen, he asked for a second date. He seemed great, an engineer, 5'10" with dark brown hair, lives close by, very smart. Seeing as we are both Yankees fans, I asked him if he'd like to head to a sports bar to watch a game.I was seriously looking for a nice, down-to-earth guy that had similar interests and was looking for a nice, normal girl. This is an excerpt of an email I sent to all my friends after the date from hell. Profile: Mr Mc Steamy Wants children: Yes College: Cornell Works in: Finance Drinking: Socially Salary: I'll tell you later What he wants: 5'0' to 5'9', smart, inquisitive, fun-loving girl to share life with."We met at Coffee Shop in Union Square. He agreed, and we planned to meet at Penn Station to the bar together."I get there and can't find him anywhere, so I call his phone.A coffee shop, of course, where a few bucks will buy you just enough face time to determine if this new boo has potential..is a potential creep.You know who else is making that call right along with you?