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About six months after my son was born, he and I were sitting on a blanket at the park with a close friend and her daughter.
It was a sunny summer weekend, and other parents and their kids picnicked nearby—mothers munching berries and lounging on the grass, fathers tossing balls with their giddy toddlers.
I’d had relations with half a dozen or so guys (always safe). The first person to get me off, other than my own right hand, was my best guy friend at the age of 13. My overwhelming preference has always been for women, but I’ve often sought out the company of men. I was fed up with dating and the emotional drain of meeting an endless stream of women, and we stayed work friends for six months until we realized we were attracted to each other. She was pregnant with our son by our first anniversary, and with our daughter for our second.
Of course, we’d be loath to admit it in this day and age, but ask any soul-baring 40-year-old single heterosexual woman what she most longs for in life, and she probably won’t tell you it’s a better career or a smaller waistline or a bigger apartment.
Maybe the reason was communism or the conflict in Kosovo and the Balkans but if you have a bride with no faith she might jump ship with the first storm.
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Most likely, she’ll say that what she really wants is a husband (and, by extension, a child).
To the outside world, of course, we still call ourselves feminists and insist—vehemently, even—that we’re independent and self-sufficient and don’t believe in any of that damsel-in-distress stuff, but in reality, we aren’t fish who can do without a bicycle, we’re women who want a traditional family. ), every woman I know—no matter how successful and ambitious, how financially and emotionally secure—feels panic, occasionally coupled with desperation, if she hits 30 and finds herself unmarried.